unemployment and housework

[fatty]

My 1st day of unemployment


WellI wondered what all of the fuss was about,
A WOMANS WORK IS NEVER DONE !! HA Boll***S
Now I have the chance to find out for myself.
So my 1st day of unemployment,mmm what will i do?
Up out of bed 6.30am cup of tea,internet for an hour or so, son up away to work, wife up away to work.
In to the washing basket(overflowing)grab some clothes, bang them in the washer (huh this is easy)
In to the kitchen(sink full of dishes from last night)
Ok lets wash them,
soappowder coz its gritty and will remove stuff,no problem,in the sink washing away, eazzy, come to a caserole dish with bits on it, looks like burnt on stuff to me,MMM, up to the workshop with it, nitromorse industrial, that takes everything off, splat some on and leave,
Whats next,
Hoover, Mint i thought we have one from MAKRO , with the dog hair attachment (we have a small jack russel)
Al give this a go, done the floors then window cills with the brush thingy, then the attachment for dog hair, WOW it was not eazy holding on to him whilst hoovered him, he had a go at me a couple of times but nothing too serious.

Whats next,MMM,
knockat the door
Window cleaner,
can i fill my bucket,

no i will do the windows from now on as i am unemployed.
He just laughed and walked away, (tosser) i thought
Clean the windows, this had to be simple.
Bucket water sponge, jobs a good n.bit soap powder, wey here we go,
washed the conservatory windows, simple, air line from compressor to dry them off, this had to be the eazyest task yet, MMM streaky,Bugger why!!!
Never mind couldnt figure it out, leave that job.

Went back to the washer coz it was buzzing at me, Ah its done, took them out,
SHI* the clothes were nearly all the same colour, the wifes jumper was very very small,and now blue, sure it was cream !!, my jeans looked ok, Gav, the son, His jeans looked ok, OHH Crap, the wifes White Vivien westwood t shirt was a strange colour, but all the black socks looked ok.
This is not good i thought,the washer cant tell if the clothes are different colours, WOW That washer was £600 quid, what a heep of Shi*

Back to the caserole dish, Sucsess, a rinse under the tap and spotless, back to the stainless steel, What a job!!

The wife calls in from work early on the way for a dentist appointment,

NOT NICE WORDS CAME FROM HER MOUTH !!!

So in all i cost us
a new caserole dish
A new lambswool jumper
A new Vivien Westwood t shirt
And the dog`s not speaking to me.!!!!
And i had to grovell to the window cleaner to do the winndows.

[cj]

I dare you to ask her if she has a headache when she comes home

[lcowner]

darts fuuny!

[scoobysal]

chocolate mountain is needed for this one mate lol.

[looey]

Ha ha ha..... great , you'll get the hang of it easy enough, I've been messing round at home and doing all that lot for the last 8 years.... it's a doddle .

But......................

We don't have a dog to look after
We don't have kids to look after
I don't bother with the windows cos the first time it rains after you've done them they look just the same as before ;D
The washing is easy
1 Anything darker than a blue jean colour all together
2 Anything blue jean or lighter all together
3 Always use a decent washing detergent and just do everything on 30 degree program and nothing shrinks or colour runs.
4 Get the washing straight out of the machine the second it finishes and anything that would usually be ironed, just hang it up nice and straight and it won't need ironing when it's dried ;D ;D (we don't have an iron or ironing board cos life's too short) ;D ;D

Reckon about 4-5 hours a week max including cleaning, food shopping and all that cr*p, the rest of the time I can pretty much do what I like

Oh and use the dishwasher

[Norbo]

O dood that was so funny .