The Dog Biscuit Diet
Apr 23, 2023 16:02:56 GMT 1
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donkeychomp, davecroucher57v, and 6 more like this
Post by geoffers997 on Apr 23, 2023 16:02:56 GMT 1
All this talk of the dogs we own reminded me of this old chestnut:
I was in Asda buying a large bag of Pedigree Dog Biscuits and was in the queue at the check out.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog........errrr………
I was feeling a bit crabby so on impulse, I told her no, I was starting The Pedigree Dog Biscuit Diet again. I continued the story by saying that I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital last time I tried the diet, but, that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms.
Her eyes about popped out of her head.
I went on and on with the bogus diet story and she was totally buying it.
I told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet and that the way it works is to load your pockets or purse with biscuits and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry.
The package said the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the queue was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.
Horrified, she asked if something in the dog food had poisoned me and was that why I ended up in the hospital.
I calmly said no..... I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls when a car hit me.
I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door.
Disclaimer: This is all made up. Please don’t try this at home 😊🐕🦮🐕🦺🐾
I was in Asda buying a large bag of Pedigree Dog Biscuits and was in the queue at the check out.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog........errrr………
I was feeling a bit crabby so on impulse, I told her no, I was starting The Pedigree Dog Biscuit Diet again. I continued the story by saying that I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital last time I tried the diet, but, that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms.
Her eyes about popped out of her head.
I went on and on with the bogus diet story and she was totally buying it.
I told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet and that the way it works is to load your pockets or purse with biscuits and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry.
The package said the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the queue was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.
Horrified, she asked if something in the dog food had poisoned me and was that why I ended up in the hospital.
I calmly said no..... I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls when a car hit me.
I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door.
Disclaimer: This is all made up. Please don’t try this at home 😊🐕🦮🐕🦺🐾
