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PADDY
Apr 17, 2007 22:45:55 GMT 1
Post by tonkatoy on Apr 17, 2007 22:45:55 GMT 1
Paddy buys a bath, takes it back next day complaining that the water keeps running out. Manager asks "did you buy a plug". Paddy raves "you bas***rd - you never told me it was electric.
Man tells his wife "your arse is th size of a 3-burner bbq". Later in bed he asks wife "fancy a shag" wife replies "no point lighting a bbq for half a sausage".
A woman married and had 13 children. Her husband died and she married again and had 7 more kids. Again the husband died. She remarried again and had a further 5 kids, then he died. She in the end died. Standing at her coffin the Preacher prayed for her and said "they are finally together again". 1 mourner was asked her friend did she think he meant the 1st, 2nd or third husband?. The friend replied "I think he means her legs".
A cucumber, a pickle and a penis were talking about their lives. the cucumber said "my life sucks, when I get big fat and juicy they cut me up and toss me in a salad". The pickle said "you think that's bad, when I get big, fat & juicy they cover me in vinegar and throw me in a jar". The penis looked at them and said " you think you are bad, when I get big, fat and juicy, they pull a plastic bag over my hear, stick me in a dark damp room and bang my head against the wall until I throw up and pass out".
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