Post by russktm on Mar 31, 2007 23:36:16 GMT 1
CAR thieves: Don't be discouraged when nothing is on view. All the valuables
may be hidden in the glove box or under a seat.
DEPRESSED people: Instead of attempting suicide as a 'cry for help',simply
shout 'Help!' thus saving money on paracetamol, etc.
MOTORISTS: Avoid getting prosecuted for using your phone whilst driving.
Simply pop your mobile inside a large shell and the police will think you
are listening to the sea.
JEREMY Beadle: When selling DVDs on your TV advert, hold the disks in your
bigger hand so that they do not appear to be the size of laser disks or
large frisbees.
SHOES last twice as long if only worn every other day.
SINGLE men: Convince people that you have a girlfriend by standing outside
Etam with several bags of shopping, looking at your watch and occasionally
glancing inside.
BOIL an egg to perfection without costly egg timers by popping the egg into
boiling water and driving away from your home at exactly 60 mph. After 3
miles, phone your wife and tell her to take the egg out the pan.
may be hidden in the glove box or under a seat.
DEPRESSED people: Instead of attempting suicide as a 'cry for help',simply
shout 'Help!' thus saving money on paracetamol, etc.
MOTORISTS: Avoid getting prosecuted for using your phone whilst driving.
Simply pop your mobile inside a large shell and the police will think you
are listening to the sea.
JEREMY Beadle: When selling DVDs on your TV advert, hold the disks in your
bigger hand so that they do not appear to be the size of laser disks or
large frisbees.
SHOES last twice as long if only worn every other day.
SINGLE men: Convince people that you have a girlfriend by standing outside
Etam with several bags of shopping, looking at your watch and occasionally
glancing inside.
BOIL an egg to perfection without costly egg timers by popping the egg into
boiling water and driving away from your home at exactly 60 mph. After 3
miles, phone your wife and tell her to take the egg out the pan.
