Post by tonkatoy on Mar 9, 2007 23:49:24 GMT 1
A normal 30 something, having split from his latest girlfriend,
decided to take a vacation. He booked himself on a Caribbean
cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life, that is, until the
ship sank.
He found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies,
nothing, only bananas and coconuts.
After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when
the
most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to the shore. In
disbelief, he asks, "Where did you come from? How did you get
here?"
She replies, "I rowed from the other side of the island. I
landed here
when my cruise ship sank."
"Amazing," he said. "You were really lucky to have a row boat
wash up
with you."
"Oh, this thing?" explains the woman. "I made the boat out of
raw
material I found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum
tree
branches, I wove the bottom from palm branches and the sides and
stern came from a Eucalyptus tree."
"But, where did you get the tools?"
"Oh, that was no problem," replied the woman. "On the south side
of the
island, a very unusual stratum of alluvial rock is exposed. I
found if fired it
to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into ductile
iron.
I used that for tools and used the tools to make the hardware."
The guy is stunned.
"Let's row over to my place," she says.
After a few minutes of rowing, she docks the boat at a small
wharf. As
the man looks to shore, he nearly falls off the boat. Before him
is a stone
walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white.
While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp
rope, the man can only stare ahead, dumb struck. As they walk into the
house, she says casually, "It's not much but I call it home. Sit down,
please.
Would you like a drink?"
"No! No thank you," he blurts out, still dazed. "I can't take
another
drop of coconut juice."
"It's not coconut juice," winks the woman. "I have a still. How
would
you like a Pina Colada?"
Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts and they
sit
down on her couch to talk.
After they have exchanged their stories, the woman announces,
"I'm
going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to
take a
shower and shave? There is a razor in the bathroom cabinet."
No longer questioning anything, the man goes into the bathroom.
There,
in the cabinet, a razor made from a piece of tortoise bone. Two
shells
honed to a hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end inside
a
swivel mechanism.
"This woman is amazing," he muses. "What next?"
When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but vines,
strategically positioned, and smelling faintly of gardenias. She
beckons for him to sit down next to her.
"Tell me," she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him,
"We've
been out here for many months. You've been lonely. There's
something
I'm sure you really feel like doing right now, something you've
been longing for?"
She stares into his eyes. He can't believe what he's hearing.
"You mean...", and he swallows excitedly and tears start to form
in
his eyes.........
"Don't tell me you've got Sky Sports"
decided to take a vacation. He booked himself on a Caribbean
cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life, that is, until the
ship sank.
He found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies,
nothing, only bananas and coconuts.
After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when
the
most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to the shore. In
disbelief, he asks, "Where did you come from? How did you get
here?"
She replies, "I rowed from the other side of the island. I
landed here
when my cruise ship sank."
"Amazing," he said. "You were really lucky to have a row boat
wash up
with you."
"Oh, this thing?" explains the woman. "I made the boat out of
raw
material I found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum
tree
branches, I wove the bottom from palm branches and the sides and
stern came from a Eucalyptus tree."
"But, where did you get the tools?"
"Oh, that was no problem," replied the woman. "On the south side
of the
island, a very unusual stratum of alluvial rock is exposed. I
found if fired it
to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into ductile
iron.
I used that for tools and used the tools to make the hardware."
The guy is stunned.
"Let's row over to my place," she says.
After a few minutes of rowing, she docks the boat at a small
wharf. As
the man looks to shore, he nearly falls off the boat. Before him
is a stone
walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white.
While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp
rope, the man can only stare ahead, dumb struck. As they walk into the
house, she says casually, "It's not much but I call it home. Sit down,
please.
Would you like a drink?"
"No! No thank you," he blurts out, still dazed. "I can't take
another
drop of coconut juice."
"It's not coconut juice," winks the woman. "I have a still. How
would
you like a Pina Colada?"
Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts and they
sit
down on her couch to talk.
After they have exchanged their stories, the woman announces,
"I'm
going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to
take a
shower and shave? There is a razor in the bathroom cabinet."
No longer questioning anything, the man goes into the bathroom.
There,
in the cabinet, a razor made from a piece of tortoise bone. Two
shells
honed to a hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end inside
a
swivel mechanism.
"This woman is amazing," he muses. "What next?"
When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but vines,
strategically positioned, and smelling faintly of gardenias. She
beckons for him to sit down next to her.
"Tell me," she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him,
"We've
been out here for many months. You've been lonely. There's
something
I'm sure you really feel like doing right now, something you've
been longing for?"
She stares into his eyes. He can't believe what he's hearing.
"You mean...", and he swallows excitedly and tears start to form
in
his eyes.........
"Don't tell me you've got Sky Sports"