Post by tonkatoy on Dec 23, 2006 19:24:55 GMT 1
It's hard to believe people like this enter quiz shows . ;D
>
>UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE
>Bamber Gascoigne: What was Ghandi's first name?
>Contestant: Goosey, Goosey?
>
>THE WEAKEST LINK
>Anne Robinson: In traffic, what "J" is where two roads meet?
>Contestant: Jool carriageway.
>
>Anne Robinson: Which Italian city is overlooked by Vesuvius?
>Contestant: Bombay.
>
>Anne Robinson: What insect is commonly found hovering above lakes?
>Contestant: Crocodiles.
>Anne Robinson: Wh...?
>Contestant (interrupting): Pass!
>
>Anne Robinson: In olden times, what were minstrels? Travelling
>entertainers or chocolate salesmen?
>Contestant: Chocolate salesmen.
>
>Anne Robinson: The Bible, the New Testament. The Four Gospels were
>written by Matthew, Mark, Luke and...?
>Contestant: (long pause) Joe?
>
>Anne Robinson: Who was a famous Indian leader, whose name begins with G,
>revered by millions, who was assassinated and received a state funeral?
>Contestant: Geronimo!
>
>NATIONAL LOTTERY JET SET
>Eamonn Holmes: What's the name of the playwright commonly known by the
>initials G.B.S.?
>Contestant: William Shakespeare.
>
>CHRIS SEARLE SHOW, BBC BRISTOL
>Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna?
>Caller: Japan.
>Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear
>that, I can let you try again.
>Caller: Er... Mexico?
>
>FAMILY FORTUNES
>1) Something a blind man might use? - A Sword
>
>2) A song with the word Moon in the title? - Blue Suede Moon
>
>3) Name the capital of France? - F
>
>4) Name a bird with a long Neck? - Naomi Campbell
>
>5) Name an occupation where you might need a torch? - A burglar
>
>6) Where is the Taj Mahal? - Opposite the Dental Hospital
>
>7) What is Hitler's first name? - Heil
>
>8) A famous Scotsman? - Jock
>
>9) Some famous brothers? - Bonnie and Clyde.
>
>10) A dangerous race? - The Arabs
>
>11) Something that floats in a bath? - Water
>
>12) An item of clothing worn by the Three Musketeers? - A horse
>
>13) Something you wear on a beach? - A deckchair
>
>14) A famous Royal? - Mail
>
>15) Something that flies that doesn't have an engine? - A bicycle with
>wings
>
>16) A famous bridge? - The Bridge Over Troubled Waters
>
>17) Something a cat does? - Goes to the toilet
>
>18) Something you do in the bathroom? - Decorate
>
>19) A method of securing your home? - Put the kettle on
>
>20) Something associated with pigs? - The Police
>
>21) A sign of the Zodiac? - April
>
>22) Something people might be allergic to? - Skiing
>
>23) Something you do before you go to bed? - Sleep
>
>24) Something you put on walls? - A roof
>
>25) Something slippery? - A conman
>
>26) A kind of ache? - A fillet of fish
>
>27) A jacket potato topping? - Jam
>
>28) A food that can be brown or white? - A potato
>
>29) Something sold by gypsies? - Bananas
>
>30) Something red? - My sweater
>
>RADIO LINCS PHONE-IN
>Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?
>Contestant: Barcelona.
>Presenter: I was really after the name of a country.
>Contestant: I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in Spain.
>
>STEVE WRIGHT SHOW, RADIO 2
>Wright: On which continent would you find the River Danube?
>Contestant: India.
>
>Wright: What is the Italian word for motorway?
>Contestant: Espresso.
>
>Wright: What is the capital of Australia? And it's not Sydney.
>Contestant: Sydney.
>
>THIS MORNING
>Judy Finnegan: The American TV show 'The Sopranos' is about opera. True
>or false?
>Contestant: True?
>Judy Finnegan: No, actually, it's about the Mafia. But it is an American
>TV show,so I'll give you that.
>
>BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE
>Paul Wappat: How long did the Six Day War between Egypt and Israel last?
>Contestant (after long pause): Fourteen days.
>
>BOB HOPE BIRTHDAY QUIZ, LBC
>Presenter: Bob Hope was the fifth of how many sons?
>Contestant: Four
>
>BBC GMR, PHIL WOOD SHOW
>Wood: What "K" could be described as the Islamic Bible?
>Contestant: Er...
>Wood: It's got two syllables... Kor...
>Contestant: Blimey?
>Wood: Ha ha ha ha no. The past participle of run...
>Contestant: (Silence)
>Wood: OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I...
>Contestant: Walked?
>
>DARYL'S DRIVETIME, VIRGIN RADIO
>Daryl Denham: In which country would you spend shekels?
>Contestant: Holland?
>Daryl Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet.
>Contestant: Iceland? Ireland?
>Daryl Denham (helpfully): It's a bad line. Did you say Israel?
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
>
>UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE
>Bamber Gascoigne: What was Ghandi's first name?
>Contestant: Goosey, Goosey?
>
>THE WEAKEST LINK
>Anne Robinson: In traffic, what "J" is where two roads meet?
>Contestant: Jool carriageway.
>
>Anne Robinson: Which Italian city is overlooked by Vesuvius?
>Contestant: Bombay.
>
>Anne Robinson: What insect is commonly found hovering above lakes?
>Contestant: Crocodiles.
>Anne Robinson: Wh...?
>Contestant (interrupting): Pass!
>
>Anne Robinson: In olden times, what were minstrels? Travelling
>entertainers or chocolate salesmen?
>Contestant: Chocolate salesmen.
>
>Anne Robinson: The Bible, the New Testament. The Four Gospels were
>written by Matthew, Mark, Luke and...?
>Contestant: (long pause) Joe?
>
>Anne Robinson: Who was a famous Indian leader, whose name begins with G,
>revered by millions, who was assassinated and received a state funeral?
>Contestant: Geronimo!
>
>NATIONAL LOTTERY JET SET
>Eamonn Holmes: What's the name of the playwright commonly known by the
>initials G.B.S.?
>Contestant: William Shakespeare.
>
>CHRIS SEARLE SHOW, BBC BRISTOL
>Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna?
>Caller: Japan.
>Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear
>that, I can let you try again.
>Caller: Er... Mexico?
>
>FAMILY FORTUNES
>1) Something a blind man might use? - A Sword
>
>2) A song with the word Moon in the title? - Blue Suede Moon
>
>3) Name the capital of France? - F
>
>4) Name a bird with a long Neck? - Naomi Campbell
>
>5) Name an occupation where you might need a torch? - A burglar
>
>6) Where is the Taj Mahal? - Opposite the Dental Hospital
>
>7) What is Hitler's first name? - Heil
>
>8) A famous Scotsman? - Jock
>
>9) Some famous brothers? - Bonnie and Clyde.
>
>10) A dangerous race? - The Arabs
>
>11) Something that floats in a bath? - Water
>
>12) An item of clothing worn by the Three Musketeers? - A horse
>
>13) Something you wear on a beach? - A deckchair
>
>14) A famous Royal? - Mail
>
>15) Something that flies that doesn't have an engine? - A bicycle with
>wings
>
>16) A famous bridge? - The Bridge Over Troubled Waters
>
>17) Something a cat does? - Goes to the toilet
>
>18) Something you do in the bathroom? - Decorate
>
>19) A method of securing your home? - Put the kettle on
>
>20) Something associated with pigs? - The Police
>
>21) A sign of the Zodiac? - April
>
>22) Something people might be allergic to? - Skiing
>
>23) Something you do before you go to bed? - Sleep
>
>24) Something you put on walls? - A roof
>
>25) Something slippery? - A conman
>
>26) A kind of ache? - A fillet of fish
>
>27) A jacket potato topping? - Jam
>
>28) A food that can be brown or white? - A potato
>
>29) Something sold by gypsies? - Bananas
>
>30) Something red? - My sweater
>
>RADIO LINCS PHONE-IN
>Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?
>Contestant: Barcelona.
>Presenter: I was really after the name of a country.
>Contestant: I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in Spain.
>
>STEVE WRIGHT SHOW, RADIO 2
>Wright: On which continent would you find the River Danube?
>Contestant: India.
>
>Wright: What is the Italian word for motorway?
>Contestant: Espresso.
>
>Wright: What is the capital of Australia? And it's not Sydney.
>Contestant: Sydney.
>
>THIS MORNING
>Judy Finnegan: The American TV show 'The Sopranos' is about opera. True
>or false?
>Contestant: True?
>Judy Finnegan: No, actually, it's about the Mafia. But it is an American
>TV show,so I'll give you that.
>
>BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE
>Paul Wappat: How long did the Six Day War between Egypt and Israel last?
>Contestant (after long pause): Fourteen days.
>
>BOB HOPE BIRTHDAY QUIZ, LBC
>Presenter: Bob Hope was the fifth of how many sons?
>Contestant: Four
>
>BBC GMR, PHIL WOOD SHOW
>Wood: What "K" could be described as the Islamic Bible?
>Contestant: Er...
>Wood: It's got two syllables... Kor...
>Contestant: Blimey?
>Wood: Ha ha ha ha no. The past participle of run...
>Contestant: (Silence)
>Wood: OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I...
>Contestant: Walked?
>
>DARYL'S DRIVETIME, VIRGIN RADIO
>Daryl Denham: In which country would you spend shekels?
>Contestant: Holland?
>Daryl Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet.
>Contestant: Iceland? Ireland?
>Daryl Denham (helpfully): It's a bad line. Did you say Israel?
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
