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Post by hoist1 on May 11, 2020 8:56:25 GMT 1
I used to like the original motorcycle mechanics that was more about the mechanics of things, there was an unknown workshop that used to report on some of the horrors that went through their hands. One was a Kawasaki triple that they took in p/x, it didn’t run on the centre pot but was put down to the plug. On inspection it didn’t even have a piston and someone had jammed a tennis ball over the rod end to quieten things! I was short of a bike to ride to Brands Hatch with mates, we were on 200s and 250s then, only option was a race replica fizzy one had spare! Did it for a laugh more than anything, on the way back the chain side adjuster broke, found a suitable size tiny pebble that fitted nicely in the slot without falling out, result. Cornering hard in my car one night a rear trailing arm thing collapsed, nearly crashing, girlfriend of the time wasn’t impressed! It was a spring that went right through the arm into a cup underneath, I jacked the car up until I could jam an old spanner on top of the arm into the middle of the spring. Next day welded it in place and ran it like that until the mot ran out.
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Post by tony2stroke on May 11, 2020 9:44:13 GMT 1
I have done plenty of bodges, but i'll never tell some of them  only the ones that worked. |
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Post by hoist1 on May 11, 2020 9:47:42 GMT 1
Another mcm one, I think, was a superdream that went bang on one cylinder. The owner stripped it down, removed the rod and piston and put a jubilee clip over the big end oil-way and ran it as a 125. Used to fix a clueless mates bikes, the worst one was a z1000j that dropped a valve or something, he couldn’t afford to fix it at the time so I cobbled it back together and he ran it on 3 for a while. Plus point for me was it was simple to work on and was all part of gaining experience as a self taught mechanic. He brought it round one day and said there is something wrong with it but he didn’t give me any pointers! I gave it a blast round the block and it wouldn’t go over 100, oh, and I don’t really use back brakes. The back tyre was rubbing badly and was not far off exploding, it had a really loud exhaust so no clues there. One of his equally useless mates had had the wheel out and left out a spacer. The brake had gone right through the pad material, through the backing plate and what was left of the piston was hell bent on destroying what was left of the disc. Should have checked first as he did the same thing with his cb900. A mate had a cb250 that he fitted with a hot cam and big bore kite, jock Kerr and joy comes to mind. Can’t think why he did it, oh I know, the rest of us had 2 strokes. Anyway, he was a good mechanic. The bloke he sold it to though, came round with a ‘bit’ of an oil leak. That was easy to solve, the cam chain just wanted some fresh air, that’s all.
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Post by tony2stroke on May 11, 2020 10:00:06 GMT 1
Another mcm one, I think, was a superdream that went bang on one cylinder. The owner stripped it down, removed the rod and piston and put a jubilee clip over the big end oil-way and ran it as a 125. Used to fix a clueless mates bikes, the worst one was a z1000j that dropped a valve or something, he couldn’t afford to fix it at the time so I cobbled it back together and he ran it on 3 for a while. Plus point for me was it was simple to work on and was all part of gaining experience as a self taught mechanic. He brought it round one day and said there is something wrong with it but he didn’t give me any pointers! I gave it a blast round the block and it wouldn’t go over 100, oh, and I don’t really use back brakes. The back tyre was rubbing badly and was not far off exploding, it had a really loud exhaust so no clues there. One of his equally useless mates had had the wheel out and left out a spacer. The brake had gone right through the pad material, through the backing plate and what was left of the piston was hell bent on destroying what was left of the disc. Should have checked first as he did the same thing with his cb900. A mate had a cb250 that he fitted with a hot cam and big bore kite, jock Kerr and joy comes to mind. Can’t think why he did it, oh I know, the rest of us had 2 strokes. Anyway, he was a good mechanic. The bloke he sold it to though, came round with a ‘bit’ of an oil leak. That was easy to solve, the cam chain just wanted some fresh air, that’s all. LOL |
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Post by hoist1 on May 11, 2020 10:09:58 GMT 1
The mate with the z1000 seemed to constantly get shit in the carbs so I fitted an in-line filter, but they kept blocking. Took him in a motor factors one day and told him to go to the counter himself for some spare cheap filters, thought he ought to be more involved with things. Anyway after a lot of stuttering and bringing the bloke behind the counter to the point of suicide, eventually he concluded that the mate wanted a car inline petrol filter, so he said ‘what car is it for’? Oh that’s easy said the mate, it’s a Kawasaki , my girlfriend nearly wet herself laughing.
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Post by tony2stroke on May 11, 2020 10:49:45 GMT 1
The mate with the z1000 seemed to constantly get shit in the carbs so I fitted an in-line filter, but they kept blocking. Took him in a motor factors one day and told him to go to the counter himself for some spare cheap filters, thought he ought to be more involved with things. Anyway after a lot of stuttering and bringing the bloke behind the counter to the point of suicide, eventually he concluded that the mate wanted a car inline petrol filter, so he said ‘what car is it for’? Oh that’s easy said the mate, it’s a Kawasaki , my girlfriend nearly wet herself laughing. Oh dear!!! that's funny |
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Post by earthman on May 11, 2020 11:40:48 GMT 1
I used to like the original motorcycle mechanics that was more about the mechanics of things, there was an unknown workshop that used to report on some of the horrors that went through their hands. One was a Kawasaki triple that they took in p/x, it didn’t run on the centre pot but was put down to the plug. On inspection it didn’t even have a piston and someone had jammed a tennis ball over the rod end to quieten things! I was short of a bike to ride to Brands Hatch with mates, we were on 200s and 250s then, only option was a race replica fizzy one had spare! Did it for a laugh more than anything, on the way back the chain side adjuster broke, found a suitable size tiny pebble that fitted nicely in the slot without falling out, result. Cornering hard in my car one night a rear trailing arm thing collapsed, nearly crashing, girlfriend of the time wasn’t impressed! It was a spring that went right through the arm into a cup underneath, I jacked the car up until I could jam an old spanner on top of the arm into the middle of the spring. Next day welded it in place and ran it like that until the mot ran out. For a moment I thought that you were going down the old 'ask girlfriend to remove her stockings' routine, to replace a broken fan belt. Lol |
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Post by hoist1 on May 11, 2020 12:29:03 GMT 1
I used to like the original motorcycle mechanics that was more about the mechanics of things, there was an unknown workshop that used to report on some of the horrors that went through their hands. One was a Kawasaki triple that they took in p/x, it didn’t run on the centre pot but was put down to the plug. On inspection it didn’t even have a piston and someone had jammed a tennis ball over the rod end to quieten things! I was short of a bike to ride to Brands Hatch with mates, we were on 200s and 250s then, only option was a race replica fizzy one had spare! Did it for a laugh more than anything, on the way back the chain side adjuster broke, found a suitable size tiny pebble that fitted nicely in the slot without falling out, result. Cornering hard in my car one night a rear trailing arm thing collapsed, nearly crashing, girlfriend of the time wasn’t impressed! It was a spring that went right through the arm into a cup underneath, I jacked the car up until I could jam an old spanner on top of the arm into the middle of the spring. Next day welded it in place and ran it like that until the mot ran out. For a moment I thought that you were going down the old 'ask girlfriend to remove her stockings' routine, to replace a broken fan belt. Lol That’s a different story, and this is a clean forum. Is there a naughty stuff section? Would love to write a book but would have to leave a lot out. This way it’s out there forever. Did break down in one of my many Datsuns once on the way back from a beach themed party, in February, in 87 or 88, cold winters, miles from home, or a phone, no breakdown cover, skimpy clothing, police involved, long story. |
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Post by hoist1 on May 11, 2020 12:30:47 GMT 1
With a girlfriend, forgot to add.
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Post by hoist1 on May 11, 2020 12:47:14 GMT 1
Ok, a bit more. 3 different lots of police involved, it was the kind of breakdown where the engine wouldn’t run, we had to keep warm somehow. The next morning the only mate I could get to come out was very reluctant as it was his ex that was with me.
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Post by tony2stroke on May 11, 2020 13:00:15 GMT 1
Ok, a bit more. 3 different lots of police involved, it was the kind of breakdown where the engine wouldn’t run, we had to keep warm somehow. The next morning the only mate I could get to come out was very reluctant as it was his ex that was with me. I have many stories just like yours  at least I am not the only one. |
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Post by hoist1 on May 11, 2020 13:44:42 GMT 1
An ex brother in law joined us on one of our trips to the British gp , donnington. He was a bit of a donut, but anyway, it didn’t go too bad until we were halfway back down the M1, his bike broke down and there was nothing obviously wrong, apart from the flat battery from him spinning it over ( cb400/4 ).We stashed it behind a bridge parapet thing out of sight, so we thought, to come back for it the next day. Some of us went to retrieve it but it was gone, went to the nearest police station to report it missing and they had it. Bearing in mind this was over 100 miles from home, so was all hassle. He had previously said it had plenty of petrol so wasn’t that, but it was, he hadn’t put it on reserve. He expected it to do about 350 miles on one tank. Only recently I stopped for a woman on a gpz550 broken down on a hill, put her bike in my van and gave her a lift to the nearest garage as she thought it was low. Same thing, was ignorant of the need to switch to reserve.
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Post by tony2stroke on May 11, 2020 14:35:06 GMT 1
An ex brother in law joined us on one of our trips to the British gp , donnington. He was a bit of a donut, but anyway, it didn’t go too bad until we were halfway back down the M1, his bike broke down and there was nothing obviously wrong, apart from the flat battery from him spinning it over ( cb400/4 ).We stashed it behind a bridge parapet thing out of sight, so we thought, to come back for it the next day. Some of us went to retrieve it but it was gone, went to the nearest police station to report it missing and they had it. Bearing in mind this was over 100 miles from home, so was all hassle. He had previously said it had plenty of petrol so wasn’t that, but it was, he hadn’t put it on reserve. He expected it to do about 350 miles on one tank. Only recently I stopped for a woman on a gpz550 broken down on a hill, put her bike in my van and gave her a lift to the nearest garage as she thought it was low. Same thing, was ignorant of the need to switch to reserve. When is your book being printed |
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Post by abar121 on May 11, 2020 15:16:35 GMT 1
At 17, I bought a second hand AR125 from Kings Motorcycles in Oxford. What an outfit, but that's another story.
I had a couple of days of bliss, thrashing it around the countryside, very nearly coming a cropper overshooting a bend. Just as head on traffic was approaching the other way.
Then, riding centre of Oxford, a pretender on an RXS100 pulled up alongside. Hitting the throttle stop in 2nd, the cable jammed wide open. I ended up scattering pedestrians aside, approaching a shopping centre with both wheels locking up - over the kerb, across the pavement and right up to the entry doors.
As I struggled to a standstill, the throttle cable released itself. Unbelievable. Kings had bodged a too long throttle cable with a dozen washers. That was bad enough, but some of them were spring washers which bound up. W@nkers!
At least I was in front of the Yam before showing full commitment.
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Post by bigkenx on May 11, 2020 15:16:42 GMT 1
I had a Mini up on a ramp to remove the subframe and put a socket on a nut and it crumbled all of the bolts someone had made out of paper mashie
Mk1 fiesta front cross member held on with bailing string
Mole grips instead of steering wheel
I lad I knew never had a throttle he used a cable with a stick
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Post by hoist1 on May 11, 2020 15:50:38 GMT 1
The mini one strikes a chord. My son thinks they are great, I don’t. Anyhow, I worked at a car garage at 17 and mini subframes never lasted long so that was one of the jobs I would do. I don’t mind working on my own motors but these days once on the ground I have trouble getting up. Drove loads of minis and accepted that the old ones would feel ropey until my sister had a new one in 83, they hadn’t improved at all. A mate agreed to lend me his to pick a girl up ( was snowing ), turns out he had to come along as she was going to bring a mate. Anyhow she didn’t and he agreed to go for a walk while I did the business with the one, by the time I let him back in his car he had lost the plot a bit and deliberately crashed the car on the way back. I walked her home and the next morning her brother ( another mate ) came round as the field the car ended stuck in belonged to his employer, he said if you let the farm keep the car he won’t make a fuss about the hedge and fence. I agreed for the driver as he was only 15. He was a looney and while driving would climb in the back seat leaving me to control it somehow. He once had friends round and before they realised what he was doing, threw some shotgun cartridges on his open fire and locked them in the room while they cowered behind the sofa. Was a fast hard bike rider, loved rd400s, died of a brain haemorrhage while riding his gs550 at 27 . One of his many brothers was killed by a car driver only recently.
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Post by hoist1 on May 11, 2020 16:00:43 GMT 1
At 17, I bought a second hand AR125 from Kings Motorcycles in Oxford. What an outfit, but that's another story. I had a couple of days of bliss, thrashing it around the countryside, very nearly coming a cropper overshooting a bend. Just as head on traffic was approaching the other way. Then, riding centre of Oxford, a pretender on an RXS100 pulled up alongside. Hitting the throttle stop in 2nd, the cable jammed wide open. I ended up scattering pedestrians aside, approaching a shopping centre with both wheels locking up - over the kerb, across the pavement and right up to the entry doors. As I struggled to a standstill, the throttle cable released itself. Unbelievable. Kings had bodged a too long throttle cable with a dozen washers. That was bad enough, but some of them were spring washers which bound up. W@nkers! At least I was in front of the Yam before showing full commitment. Got separated from mates in Oxford in 81 then realised was short of petrol money to get home, I made it but had to really crawl along to do it. Was overtaken at one point by Steve Parrish, bet he thought ‘ what a w**ker’ . He was driving PAR 15H not PEN 15 . Got home knackered after riding non stop from Wales and a clash with mods in Maidstone . Wasn’t all bad, got a 4LO soon after. |
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Post by Deleted on May 14, 2020 0:38:07 GMT 1
Many years ago. There was a broken down car on the side of the road near a little settlement.
They pulled over one of our trucks and asked for a tow into town to get it fixed. 4 of them were in it.
The next day it was on the other side of the road and they asked for a tow back to the settlement.
The truck driver was a home mechanic and offered to take a look at it. No motor.
Turns out , they would get a tow into town, hit the booze, sleep in the car and get a tow home in the morning.
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Post by hoist1 on May 14, 2020 15:51:29 GMT 1
Many years ago. There was a broken down car on the side of the road near a little settlement. They pulled over one of our trucks and asked for a tow into town to get it fixed. 4 of them were in it. The next day it was on the other side of the road and they asked for a tow back to the settlement. The truck driver was a home mechanic and offered to take a look at it. No motor. Turns out , they would get a tow into town, hit the booze, sleep in the car and get a tow home in the morning. Not surprised, some of the scum will steal someone’s pride and joy car just for the petrol, using some of it to burn or ‘yog’ it. Last couple of places we have lived there are gangs on what have got to be stolen dirt bikes ( they don’t like paying for anything ) with no number plates on that ride around doing as they like getting us a bad name, don’t think it’s any different all over the country. One law for them, different one for us. |
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only the ones that worked.
at least I am not the only one.
