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Post by 4l04ever on Mar 12, 2020 20:12:27 GMT 1
Once we all get isolated, the whingeing fookers better not come round my house asking for some of my stashed bog rolls! They can use "The Big Issue" with the Izal texture.
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Post by steve h on Mar 12, 2020 20:13:35 GMT 1
Schools will break up early for Easter, is the rumour at our kids school Yes, giving them 4 weeks instead of 2 they say Steve ' Oh f**k!!!! The thought of having to put up with teenage "Kevin" (Harry Enfield's character) for 4 weeks at easter… Jeezus where's the f**king rope, I'm off to the loft...
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Post by midlifecrisisrd on Mar 12, 2020 20:54:37 GMT 1
Yes, giving them 4 weeks instead of 2 they say Steve ' Oh f**k!!!! The thought of having to put up with teenage "Kevin" (Harry Enfield's character) for 4 weeks at easter… Jeezus where's the f**king rope, I'm off to the loft... Better start licking door handles mate, at least in self isolation you'll be on your own Steve
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Post by wonkywheel on Mar 12, 2020 21:47:50 GMT 1
Advise for all bog-roll hoarders... self-isolate up your ass hole
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Post by bigkenx on Mar 13, 2020 6:38:09 GMT 1
Well how sad folk are not a bloody bog roll I thought it would just pass but no they are queuing up in the morning for the stuff missis when Asda do our normal week shop nothing all gone and porridge , jalapeños for a odd reason flour , long life milk beans soup pasta spaghetti It’s like that film 48 hrs later but with no bog roll
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Post by JonW on Mar 13, 2020 6:49:03 GMT 1
> jalapeños
What? Seriously? no wonder they need bog roll hoards if thats all theyre eating...
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Post by bigkenx on Mar 13, 2020 7:04:28 GMT 1
That’s what I thought
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Post by pdxjim on Mar 13, 2020 7:22:25 GMT 1
Same here in the states
Everythings fcuking cancelled. Kids futsal, public schools, work slowing down, etc
Best of luck lads looks like we’re in this for the long haul
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Post by donkeychomp on Mar 13, 2020 23:05:33 GMT 1
Problem in the States though is only 11 of them allow sick pay. Hence nearly every American goes to work even if they are at deaths door.
Alex
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Post by steve h on Mar 14, 2020 0:32:09 GMT 1
Problem in the States though is only 11 of them allow sick pay. Hence nearly every American goes to work even if they are at deaths door. Alex £90 a week here, (Statutory sick pay.. if you qualify).. and @ £90 a week I'd be back at work to keep a roof over my kids heads as well... Lidl here has now been hit by locusts. Crossbow sales will shortly be up, fire sticks, camping stoves, water purification tablets, generators, candles.. Oh to own a survivalist shop!! (Forgot para cord) I need to make some more arrows and flog em on ebay together with my handmade candles from our wax. This time next year we'll be millionaires... Or dead!
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Post by bigkenx on Mar 14, 2020 7:32:17 GMT 1
well today I’m going to modify the Hilux welding scaffold tube all round it , mounting a flame thrower powered my the recycled gas from the beans I’ve hoarded
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Post by veg on Mar 14, 2020 8:10:24 GMT 1
I’m going to be ok as I’m surrounded by sheep where I live, not only a source of food, and clothing but and this is the best bit shag pile bog roll, genius I’m off down Waitrose later to see if I can sell my deluxe organic solution to gullible masses sorry meant fine and caring clients of said establishment You haven’t experienced luxury till you wiped with vegs warm and soft triple pile and then pop it in the washing machine completely green 👍
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Post by pdxjim on Mar 14, 2020 8:24:21 GMT 1
The recent news out of Italy doesn’t bode well.
It appears here in Portland OR, (the smart people say) we are about two weeks behind Italy and one week behind Seattle WA (about 200mi north of here). Italy and Seattle are fcuking shitshows with no hospital beds and people being left to die to save someone younger.
Clearly, the USA is being run by fcuking idiots, telling us to go out and spend to keep the economy up
Stay safe mates. Got my TDR and LC to work on, so I’ll be down in the basement and out in the garage playing motorbikes.
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Post by dusty350 on Mar 14, 2020 9:21:26 GMT 1
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Post by headcoats on Mar 14, 2020 9:53:00 GMT 1
Well the Missus just went to supermarket and said it was like Christmas plus accident there too
The madness has started !
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Post by veg on Mar 14, 2020 10:00:05 GMT 1
Whatever happened to ‘keep calm and carry on’ ? Be interested to see if any of these idiots have that on a mug.
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Post by midlifecrisisrd on Mar 14, 2020 10:58:48 GMT 1
I’m going to be ok as I’m surrounded by sheep where I live, not only a source of food, and clothing but and this is the best bit shag pile bog roll, genius I’m off down Waitrose later to see if I can sell my deluxe organic solution to gullible masses sorry meant fine and caring clients of said establishment You haven’t experienced luxury till you wiped with vegs warm and soft triple pile and then pop it in the washing machine completely green 👍 I'd be careful using the words sheep, best and shag in the one statement 😁 Steve
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Post by markhoopy on Mar 14, 2020 11:39:18 GMT 1
What has happened in Italy over the past three weeks gives a good indication of how the coronavirus will affect most 'developed' countries - the statistics can be taken as accurate whereas those given out by the Chinese government are open to interpretation considering their usual secrecy and the fact that the virus originated from there. 76% of cases have been in people over 50, so most members here will be in that category I would think Around 20% of those infected will develop severe symptoms while the rest will have something similar to a cold or mild flu. Anyone with an underlying health condition is more susceptible to the virus and is likely to need care in a hospital - oxygen, or in extreme cases ventilation. The virus attacks every part of the lining of the lung and breathing is impossible without some kind of help. This table showing how many critical care beds are available gives an idea how ill-prepared the UK is: I'm in the 'vulnerable' group, with limited breathing capacity and a suppressed immune system, and have had a cold for about a week now which is concerning to say the least. The 111 service advised me to self-isolate, drink plenty, take paracetomol three times a day and not touch my eyes. I already do three of those most days anyway so hardly a massive change to my life The problem we have is that my partner is a driving instructor who is self-employed, and as the virus seems likely to be about for a good few months yet she is still going out and working every day because cancelling all lessons and not having an income for the foreseeable future is pretty much impossible. The UK seems to be about four weeks behind Italy as far as rates of infection go, so once we get nearer the likely peak here she will stop working and we will become hermits for as long as it takes. One thing that strikes me is the apparent lack of preparation in care homes. My mum was diagnosed with Alzheimers six years ago so I have seen from visiting her how poorly-staffed care homes are, and as the minimum wage seems to be the normal pay rate it is unlikely that self-isolation will be a reasonable option for anyone working in care who gets a cold or other symptoms. If the virus gets a hold in care homes it will kill lots of residents very quickly.
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Post by bezzer on Mar 14, 2020 12:22:16 GMT 1
UK Virus ALERT
The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent virus threat and have therefore raised their threat level from “Miffed” to “Peeved.” Soon, though, level may be raised yet again to “Irritated” or even “A Bit Cross.”
The English have not been “A Bit Cross” since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out.
The virus has been re-categorized from “Tiresome” to “A Bloody Nuisance.” The last time the British issued a “Bloody Nuisance” warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.
The Scots have raised their threat level from “Pissed Off” to “Let's Get the b*****d.” They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.
The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its alert level from “Run” to “Hide.” The only two higher levels in France are “Collaborate” and “Surrender.” The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability. Italy has increased the alert level from “Shout Loudly and Excitedly” to “Elaborate Military Posturing.” Two more levels remain: “Ineffective Combat Operations” and “Change Sides.”
The Germans have increased their alert state from “Disdainful Arrogance” to “Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs.” They also have two higher levels: “Invade a Neighbour” and “Lose.”
Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.
The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.
Australia, meanwhile, has raised its alert level from “No worries” to “She'll be alright, Mate.” Two more escalation levels remain: “Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!” and “The barbie is cancelled.” So far, no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.
The Russians have said “Its not us, we only were in Milan looking at the spires on the Cathedral"
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Post by doohanno1 on Mar 14, 2020 14:28:17 GMT 1
..
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Post by headcoats on Mar 14, 2020 17:53:58 GMT 1
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Post by midlifecrisisrd on Mar 14, 2020 18:07:48 GMT 1
I'm at a Haven holiday park There's plenty of p1ssed cows 🤣 Steve
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Post by steve h on Mar 14, 2020 18:25:42 GMT 1
bezzer, that's class!!
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Post by steve h on Mar 14, 2020 18:31:31 GMT 1
The romans removed winits with sponges. Someone needs to print some with "arse" and "face" on to avoid getting shit faced (without alcohol) I've rerouted all drainpipes to my bath and several green water tubs in the bathroom. I don't fancy drinking mead for a month...
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Post by markhoopy on Mar 14, 2020 19:23:15 GMT 1
The romans removed winits with sponges. But apart from that, what have the Romans ever done for us?
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Post by midlifecrisisrd on Mar 14, 2020 19:33:36 GMT 1
The romans removed winits with sponges. But apart from that, what have the Romans ever done for us? sanitation, the medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, a fresh water system, and public health 😁😁😁 Steve
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Post by veg on Mar 14, 2020 19:37:49 GMT 1
Yes but apart from sanitation, the medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, a fresh water system, and public health What have the Romans’ ever done for us?
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Post by steve h on Mar 14, 2020 19:48:29 GMT 1
Yeah! What they ever done for us.. besides a wall to keep the jocks out! Romanes Eunt Domus..
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Post by midlifecrisisrd on Mar 14, 2020 19:56:47 GMT 1
Yeah! What they ever done for us.. besides a wall to keep the jocks out! Romanes Eunt Domus.. And how has that worked for you (says the jock in England 😁) Steve
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Post by rsvr1000 on Mar 14, 2020 21:25:42 GMT 1
Started saving our free news papers 🤣🤣🤣
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